“Cause I’m bad news, baby I’m bad news. I’m just bad news, bad news, bad news.” Rilo Kiley, Portions for Foxes
Hello, and welcome to part two of week three’s Bachelorette recap. Obviously, the previous episode was notably Chad-centric, and this one is, too, though slightly less so. This episode focused a bit less on Chad, and a bit more on how the other guys in the house deal with Chad and try to help JoJo see what they see. Of course, there were still some golden Chad moments, which we will get to, but we also got such gems as seeing Evan’s lame tattoos and douchey necklace, Luke’s version of “rugged” and JoJo wearing a macrame top over her bathing suit. So without further ado, let’s get to the episode.
We start with a pool party, which is a complete sausage fest, in that it’s one girl and 20-some guys, and Chad, of course, is eating some kind of smoked meat. He also keeps inexplicably drinking some bright neon green drink, which could be a bodybuilding drink or absinthe- I can’t decide. Either way, he has a giant pint glass full of it in nearly every scene. Chad leaves his conversation with Chris Harrison and enters the house, where he offers the most half-assed apology ever. Evan is having none of it, and says, “You owe me a new shirt and a real apology.” Chad offers to give him twenty bucks. And then sticks to his guns that the shirt grab was only in response to Evan pushing him. I don’t think anyone is buying it. But Wells steps in and says that they all feel uncomfortable with Chad in the house. Nothing much happens to resolve anything and they all go to the pool party, where they do shots and choreograph some kind of synchronized dive, during which Evan gets a nose bleed. It should be noted that Evan, Jordan and Chad are all wearing necklaces for some strange reason. Luke is, too, but he later explains the meaning of his, so he gets a pass. The others do not, however, and should immediately remove all items of leather jewelry ASAP.
JoJo and Jordan go for some alone time, where she tells him how crazy she is about him but that she feels she needs to play it cool because she doesn’t know where his head is at. Um, correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the very act of telling him that is the opposite of playing it cool. “I’m breezy… ” Anyway, they have an awkward conversation and he decides he needs to “step it up” and make sure she knows how he feels. They make out a little to seal the deal.She also has a brief conversation with Robby and they, too, make out.
Soon, she sits down to talk to Chad, who is still eating and drinking his green drink. She tells him that he’s been very “well-behaved” and he grins like an idiot, and I can’t help but notice how creepily veiny he is. Ew. He talks to her about Evan, and basically says that if she’s at all into Evan, there’s no way she’s into him, since they are polar opposites. Evan comes to interrupt them while they talk, so Chad stomps away, angrily. As Chad lurks and sulks, he makes the observation that “97% of the guys’ conversations are about him,” and I hate to say it, but he’s not wrong. They all have something to say about Chad to JoJo. Derek explains the security guard’s presence to her, while Chad runs out into the woods, shirtless. And just like that, it’s time for the rose ceremony.
At the rose ceremony, Chad pulls Derek aside and says, “Whatever guy like me stole your girlfriend, it wasn’t me.” Derek takes issue with this and explains that all the guys in the house feel physically threatened by Chad, not jealous of him. They have a silly fight wherein Derek accuses Chad of being there only to “get in front of a camera.” Chad responds with an accusation that Derek is basically a “stalker” because he watched the previous season and already feels like he’s in love with JoJo. JoJo then enters wearing a shiny, two-piece crop top dress.
The rose ceremony begins, and James Taylor, Chase and Evan already have roses. Then she hands out roses to (in this order) Grant, Derek, Jordan, Luke, Robby, Wells, James F, Vinny, Daniel, Alex, and…. wait for it… Chad. Christian, Ali and Nick are eliminated, and Nick takes issue with the fact that Chad was given a rose over him. All the remaining men and JoJo toast, and she tells them that they are leaving the mansion for good. Continue reading Sausage Fest- A Bachelorette Recap for Episode 3, Part 2