“It started with a whisper, and that was when I kissed her. And then she made my lips hurt. I could hear the chit chat. Take me to your love shack. Mama’s always gotta back track when everybody talks back.” Neon Trees, Everybody Talks
Welcome to part two of this week’s Bachelorette recap- The Men Tell All episode. Like you, I was just excited to see the return of The Chadelor in all of his meat-eating glory, and he did not disappoint. At the very start of the show, we see Chad arrive in a town car like the boss man he is (or thinks he is) and he walks directly to a trailer with his name on it. I can only presume that trailer was full of protein powder and cold cuts, and Chad enters, with a cocky smile and a suit that I hate to admit was fitting him like a second skin. But we don’t get to see him for a little while, so let’s get to the rest of the episode first.
Chris Harrison opens with the joke, “Chad is here. And so is security.” The crowd goes wild. And then they quickly cut to a lengthy Bachelor in Paradise promo, where it appears that Chad runs amok and at some point utters the phrase, “F*#@ you, Chris Harrison.” Juicy. I am happy to see so many faces that I am sure will bring the drama; Ashley I. still appears bat-shit crazy, and still psychotically in love with Jared, for no reason whatsoever, Nick Viall is there and “falling in love” for what seems like the 80th time on this franchise, Jubilee and Lace are both among the cast, as well as the twins Emily and Haley and, according to Chris Harrison’s VO, “multiple marriage proposals.” A big fat “HELLS YES” from me.
We see the panel of guys, and I literally don’t recognize a few of them. I’m wondering if they pulled some who were let go on night one? Evan tells us that he thought, “Goodness gracious, God bless America,” upon laying eyes on JoJo for the first time. I still find him repellant and love that he was referred to as “the cock doc” a few times throughout the evening. Luke also talks about their intense chemistry from the first meeting, which I don’t think anyone- including JoJo- would deny. They show some boring recap clips, most of which focus on Chad’s overeating and everyone’s dislike of him. You can tell from the jump that this episode is Chad’s show, and we are all just living in it. They touch a little on the rivalry between Derek and Alex, but none of it is very compelling, except for when Nick B. calls Alex “manipulative, an instigator” with a “Napoleon complex.” Touché Nick B, whoever the hell you are. Wells, who says he’s “friends with everybody,” gives Alex a bit of a pass on his behavior, blaming it on the combative nature of his military training. Luke, who has also been in the military, isn’t buying it, and the crowd goes crazy when he says that maturity helps you become the guy who isn’t always looking for a fight. Subtle burn, Luke. Just when the season ends, I’m starting to come around on you. There’s a lot of back-and-forth and honestly, none of it was very compelling, but they cut to Chase several times and he’s wearing a dapper, well-fitting suit, so I pour another glass of wine and continue to watch. Continue reading A Little Less Conversation, A Little More Action- A Bachelorette Recap for The Men Tell All Episode