“You need to give it up, had about enough. It’s not hard to see the boy is mine. I’m sorry that you seem to be confused. He belongs to me. The boy is mine.” Brandy and Monica, The Boy is Mine
Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s Bachelor recap. I’m not going to lie to you- it is not yet February 1st, but I did watch this episode with a crisp glass (or three) of sauvignon blanc. My “sober January” served its intended purpose and I made it through most of the month, but I hosted a birthday party for 25 four-year-olds the day before, and that shizz isn’t for the faint of heart, so I rewarded myself with some wine. That said, I found this episode infinitely more enjoyable, and I’m not sure if it was the delicious vino, the inclusion of more Rachel than we’ve seen in previous episodes, or the “meeting of the minds” between Corinne and Taylor. (We get it, Taylor. You have a master’s degree. But attempting to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person does you no favors in the “emotional intelligence” department either.) We have so much to cover from last night (though calling it “the most anticipated showdown of the year” in the current political climate might be overselling it, Chris Harrison. Calm down and wait until it’s your turn to remind us it’s the last rose tonight. Know your place!), so without further ado, let’s unpack this train wreck of an episode.
We open where we left off last week, with Taylor and Corinne arguing. Rachel has the right idea, as usual. (Can you tell she’s my favorite?) She thinks they should be more focused on their respective relationships with Nick than any of the other women in the house. But instead, they debate the semantics of “emotional intelligence” and so help me, if I never hear that phrase again, it will be too soon. I’m guessing Taylor heard it in one of her psych classes and just wanted to prove she’s a “mental health counselor.” Corinne seems a little tipsy and calls Taylor a bitch. She tells her a lot of the other girls agree and then they cut to a shot of some of the other girls, and all I can think is how badly they need a lash extension tech to come in and give some fills cause some of these ladies’ lashes are looking rough. Taylor retorts that she doesn’t feel the need to be liked by anyone, and Corinne says Taylor has a “stank face,” whatever that means. (These girls are young- I can’t be expected to know all the lingo.) I’m just in awe that I’m watching two pretty girls- aged 23 and 24- fight over a guy who is pushing 40 whose only discernible job is perennial reality show contestant. It’s tough stuff. But I have to say, Corinne is looking fresh as a freakin’ daisy considering how hammered she seems. I wonder if she can do a beauty tutorial on what kind of primer/foundation she uses… But I digress. Continue reading “Catfight- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 5”