“I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.” Linkin Park, In the End
Hello everyone and welcome for the moment we’ve all been waiting for- and no, that’s not to see if Bachelor Nick chooses Raven or Vanessa (duh- it’s been obvious all along)- the glorious end of a season that seems to have gone on forever. But before you start high-fiving and getting excited to never see Nick Viall’s face on your TV screen again, not so fast, because for some ungodly reason, he’s going to be on Dancing with the Stars in the upcoming season. Normally, this would not affect me in the least, having given up watching these so-called “stars” dance many seasons ago, but this year, one miss Erika Jayne neè Girardi is going to be competing, and she’s a goddamn national treasure, so it’s just my luck to have to start watching again on the season where Nick Viall and his bad perm and likely worse dance moves will be invading my TV viewing once again. But I’ll take a few of Nick’s dorky dance moves if it means I get to see Erika “pat the puss.” (If you don’t watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, that went completely over your head. And also, shame on you. Second only to RHONY, it’s one of the crown jewels of Bravo.) So without further ado, let’s dissect this episode and with any luck, never have to utter the name Nick Viall ever again.
Where to begin? First and foremost, it seems Nick falls in love A LOT. He says he’s in love with both Raven and Vanessa and is sticking to the story that he was in love with Andi and Kaitlyn too. That’s a lot of “love” in a few years. CH tells us it’s another “dramatic” three hours, but at least he has something to do this time other than counting roses for us, as he’s hosting some sort of “live show.” He has mentioned the word “desperate” no fewer than three times in the first ten minutes of the show when talking about Nick’s “search for love.” We open in Rovaniemi, Finland (I hope I spelled that right) and I still hate Nick’s winter wardrobe. (Not that his summer wardrobe was any better in paradise, lest we forget his tiny shorts that he insisted on rocking through most of his stay there.) He walks through the snow and looks contemplative. Or maybe he’s just as over him being on this show as we are. Either way, he meets up with his family where his mom and dad and six of their seemingly thousands of children are waiting for him. His cute little sister Bella is back, along with another young sibling and I can’t help but think that they should both be in school instead of traipsing off to Finland to try to help their loser brother find a wife for the third time on this show. Shame on you, Mama and Daddy Viall. Continue reading End Of The Line- A Bachelor Recap for the Finale of Nick’s Season and ATFR