Every Other Weekend

“In our family portrait we look pretty happy. We look pretty normal. Let’s go back to that. In our family portrait we look pretty happy. Let’s play pretend, act like it comes naturally.” ┬áPink, Family Portrait

Hello everyone. First of all, my apologies for the lengthy delay in posting. The past six months have brought about some major changes in my life, and that, coupled with the fact that Arie is the worst bachelor of all time (and I include Mr. “Ees okay” himself, Juan Pablo in this), kept me from watching even a single episode this season. I mean, I know what happened in the finale- the old switcheroo last seen with Jason and Molly, and I still think Arie is a total douche and don’t feel at all sad about having missed his entire season.

As for me, well, I am getting a divorce. Actually, by the time I actually get around to publishing this post, I may already be divorced. I filed about six months ago and in California, that’s the end of the mandatory waiting period in an uncontested divorce. To call it “uncontested” sounds strange, based on the amount of fighting we’ve done over the most minute things over the past 6-8 months, but we eventually came to our senses and put our swords away, so to speak, and sat down together to settle. We will never completely agree on any of it, really- what ended the marriage, who did what to who, how we got here, where we go from here- but the one thing we finally agreed on was that we had to stop letting our petty shit get in the way and find a way to try to move on in the healthiest way possible for our kid. And I still don’t know if we are doing so successfully, but we are doing the best we know how to in a difficult (to say the least) situation and really trying to minimize the damage on him. He’s so little- just barely five- and I always think about it this way- if this is confusing for us, two grown adults that have participated in the things that broke our union apart and decided it was time to part ways, what must it feel like for him? In his little mind, one day we were a family and now we aren’t- he has no frame of reference or hindsight to backtrack and try to figure out where it all went wrong and it must be devastating to him. We try to focus on the positive- he now has two places to live (both of which have swimming pools, which delights him)and he gets to spend quality time with both of us on his own. We try not to dwell on the fact that we don’t really spend time as a threesome anymore, but I’m hoping with some time and perspective, that might change.

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