“There’s a little girl I know, you might know her too. She looks so good, huh, she looks so cute. Standing next to you, and I don’t know what to do. I want your girlfriend to be my, I want your girlfriend to be my, I want your girlfriend to be my girlfriend.” Reel Big Fish, I Want Your Girlfriend to Be My Girlfriend Too
Hello again, and welcome to my weekly Bachelorette recap. The past few episodes were all Chad, Chad and more Chad and the last episode ended with a riveting teaser in which he seemingly refused to leave the house. And while the episode didn’t entirely deliver what it promised on that front, there is still lots to talk about, so let’s get to it, shall we?
We open pretty much exactly where we left off last week- the raucous celebration back at the hotel upon hearing the news of Chad’s demise. Guys are high-fiving, clinking glasses, making up songs (ENOUGH, James Taylor. We get it- you own a guitar), and even spreading the ashes of Chad’s leftover protein powder as a funeral-style send off. Evan is more delighted than the rest of the bunch, but the overall feeling in the house seems to be one of “Ding Dong, the Meathead’s gone.” But not so fast, gentlemen. We see Chad creepily whistling to himself as he lumbers through the forest in his finest khakis and ever-present fleece. Suddenly, we hear something and James F (I think) says, “It’s Chad at the front door.” Maybe he wants his protein powder back? Evan thinks so, too, and looks genuinely afraid that it may come out that it was his idea to get rid of it in the first place.
So Chad enters, and honestly, the whole thing is a little anti-climactic. Chad, of course, tells the guys that JoJo didn’t choose him because of what Alex said about him, not even taking a beat to acknowledge that it’s possible that a woman just might not be into him. He offers a kind of half-assed apology and says that everyone “ganged up” on him and he felt like his only option was to threaten people. Jordan then steps up, and in a rare moment that actually seems sincere, offers Chad an apology and says that it must have been hard for him to feel like nobody in the house liked or understood him. Chad doesn’t buy it, and points his large finger in Jordan’s face and tells him he doesn’t “have half a brain.” Chad then reinforces exactly what type of guy he is by trying to squeeze Jordan’s hand really hard in a handshake (according to Jordan, anyway) and continues saying things that are designed to intimidate the guys. And then Evan, the resident pipsqueak, gets all big and tough and asks Chad for money to replace his shirt. Not the time and place, buddy. I’m sure ABC will reimburse your 25 bucks if it’s really that urgent. The guys realize that it’s going nowhere, fast, and Jordan rallies the troops away, leaving Chad alone, left to do nothing but go gentle into that good night. But not before he does some sort of spin and jazz hands on the front porch on the way out. I, for one, am looking very forward to seeing his antics on Bachelor in Paradise. Continue reading Hey, Jealousy- A Bachelorette Recap for Episode 4