The Bitches Are Back- A Real Housewives of New York Recap for Season 9- Episodes 1&2

“I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch. Oh, the bitch is back. Stone cold sober as a matter of fact. I can bitch, I can bitch cause I’m better than you. It’s the way that I move, the things that I do.” Elton John, The Bitch is Back

Hello everyone and welcome to my first-ever Real Housewives recap. I meant to write this last week, after the premiere of the new season, but I didn’t, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because my kid has been on spring break so I couldn’t find the time. Whatever the reason (laziness, being busy, not drinking wine on the weekdays- it’s a long story) I just want to start by explaining why I decided to recap RHONY.  First and foremost, Bravo is my religion and I will pretty much watch anything Saint Andrew Cohen deems worthy of my viewing pleasure, but of all the housewives franchises, I think New York may be the crown jewel. I know OC is the OG, and I watch every season, but I just can’t connect with those ladies the way I do my NYC housewives. And Beverly Hills is great- I have watched every moment of every episode- but when you live in Los Angeles, it almost doesn’t have the same aspirational quality. I mean, don’t get me wrong- I’m hardly having high tea in the garden of Villa Rose with Hanky and Panky like Queen Vanderpump, but after 15 years in SoCal, the glamour of the Los Angeles franchise doesn’t measure up somehow. Watching the women of New York be driven around the city to all their fave restaurants and hotspots on the upper east side, shopping their days away, all the while living in fabulous town houses is somehow a fun escape for a die-hard West coaster like myself.

Before we get into anything regarding the episodes, let’s discuss the new taglines. First up is Dorinda, with “I tell it like it is, but I always make it nice,” a thinly-veiled reference to her amazing and unforgettable Berkshires meltdown last season. Next up is Ramona, squawking in her shrill voice, “I’m an acquired taste. You don’t like me? Acquire some taste.” Then we have Sonja, with the brilliant, “There’s nothing grey about my gardens.” Um, this we know, “Sonja with a sexy J” because you have been very clear about the fact that you have no “garden” in your lady parts. Carole is next, with “In the politics of friendship, I win the popular vote.” Um, only if Bethenny is the one voting, sweetheart. Luann of course has to mention her upcoming nuptials, so hers is, “The only title I’d trade Countess for is wife.” Again, as always, it’s about Tom. Then of course, Bethenny has to come in last, with her signature bitchy tone saying, “If you’re going to take a shot at this B, you better not miss.” I’m going to come clean straight away about my distaste for Bethenny. When she started, years ago, she was my favorite. I thought she was funny, authentic, and most of all, genuine in her search to find love and have a baby. As a woman in my mid-30s when RHONY began, I totally related to her ticking clock and her fears that it just might not happen for her. And then she got married, and right after that, her business became successful and she got very, very wealthy and when she came back two seasons ago, I couldn’t stand her. I don’t know if it was the money or the divorce or what, but I think she is a truly mean person who enjoys hurting other people. That said, she makes great television, because love her or hate her, we can’t stop watching her. Continue reading “The Bitches Are Back- A Real Housewives of New York Recap for Season 9- Episodes 1&2”

End Of The Line- A Bachelor Recap for the Finale of Nick’s Season and ATFR

“I tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.” Linkin Park, In the End

Hello everyone and welcome for the moment we’ve all been waiting for- and no, that’s not to see if Bachelor Nick chooses Raven or Vanessa (duh- it’s been obvious all along)- the glorious end of a season that seems to have gone on forever. But before you start high-fiving and getting excited to never see Nick Viall’s face on your TV screen again, not so fast, because for some ungodly reason, he’s going to be on Dancing with the Stars in the upcoming season. Normally, this would not affect me in the least, having given up watching these so-called “stars” dance many seasons ago, but this year, one miss Erika Jayne neè Girardi is going to be competing, and she’s a goddamn national treasure, so it’s just my luck to have to start watching again on the season where Nick Viall and his bad perm and likely worse dance moves will be invading my TV viewing once again. But I’ll take a few of Nick’s dorky dance moves if it means I get to see Erika “pat the puss.” (If you don’t watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, that went completely over your head. And also, shame on you. Second only to RHONY, it’s one of the crown jewels of Bravo.) So without further ado, let’s dissect this episode and with any luck, never have to utter the name Nick Viall ever again.

Where to begin? First and foremost, it seems Nick falls in love A LOT. He says he’s in love with both Raven and Vanessa and is sticking to the story that he was in love with Andi and Kaitlyn too. That’s a lot of “love” in a few years. CH tells us it’s another “dramatic” three hours, but at least he has something to do this time other than counting roses for us, as he’s hosting some sort of “live show.” He has mentioned the word “desperate” no fewer than three times in the first ten minutes of the show when talking about Nick’s “search for love.” We open in Rovaniemi, Finland (I hope I spelled that right) and I still hate Nick’s winter wardrobe. (Not that his summer wardrobe was any better in paradise, lest we forget his tiny shorts that he insisted on rocking through most of his stay there.) He walks through the snow and looks contemplative. Or maybe he’s just as over him being on this show as we are. Either way, he meets up with his family where his mom and dad and six of their seemingly thousands of children are waiting for him. His cute little sister Bella is back, along with another young sibling and I can’t help but think that they should both be in school instead of traipsing off to Finland to try to help their loser brother find a wife for the third time on this show. Shame on you, Mama and Daddy Viall. Continue reading “End Of The Line- A Bachelor Recap for the Finale of Nick’s Season and ATFR”

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 10 and The Women Tell All

“I need some love like I never needed love before.
(Wanna make love to ya, baby) I had a little love now I’m back for more (Wanna make love to ya, baby) Set your spirit free, it’s the only way to be” The Spice Girls, 2 Become 1

Hello everyone. Welcome to this “very special” (read: so long that I needed to pound an espresso in the middle of it so I wouldn’t fall asleep)  3 hour Bachelor event. I have no idea when they decided that the Women Tell All episode should be two hours, in an of itself, but to add the last hour of the fantasy suite dates to that is just cruel and unusual punishment, not entirely unlike what an overnight date with Nick would be like. But Raven seemed to enjoy herself, so who am I to judge? So let’s get into it.

We open the next morning after Nick and Raven’s overnight. She seems happy and remarks that she is “very satisfied” (wink wink) and we get to see this unfold in a very cheesy montage with a song that sounds vaguely like “Walking on Sunshine” but is decidedly a knock-off that was much cheaper to buy the rights to. No surprise that they didn’t spring for a real song, judging by the budget the rest of the season. She skips through the snow, she lies down to make snow angels and she says, “Nick is very good at what he does.” Somehow I beg to differ. But he has spread “what he does” kind of net wide among bachelor nation, so maybe she’s on to something. Anyway, Nick takes his leave of her and goes on to do “what he does” with Rachel. She arrives looking cute and her special surprise is… reindeer and a sleigh ride. Seriously ABC? These dates are so bad. And Nick’s Finland wardrobe isn’t much better. He really seems to be sticking with the turtlenecks. They chat and Rachel tells him she’s falling for him. I can tell it’s hard for her, because she’s usually so articulate and she’s saying “like” every other word as if she’s Corinne. Nick actually tells her he’s falling for her, too, and then wouldn’t you know it, he pulls out a key “should you decide to forgo your individual rooms and stay as a couple in the fantasy suite.” She agrees to do this and I can’t help but think that on previous seasons, it seemed like there was at least a day or two and half an island in between the overnight dates, but it seems that this go-round, he’s had a scant three hours in between and the dates seem to be taking place right next door to each other. He tells Rachel that he really likes her when she’s vulnerable and then he presumably introduces her to little Nick after the door closes. The next morning Rachel says she can’t wait to meet his family and “seal the deal.” Continue reading “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 10 and The Women Tell All”

Let’s Get It On- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 9

“Close your eyes, make a wish and blow out the candlelight. For tonight is just your night and we’re gonna celebrate all through the night.” Boyz II Men, I’ll Make Love to You

Hello everyone. We find ourselves here, close to the end, when we get to see the overnight dates, as if we haven’t seen enough of Nick Viall boning on this show already. (Lest we all forget him whining, “Why did you make love to me then?” to Andi after she dumped him.) I always find this episode to be so boring, especially since it’s split into a two-parter this season. I personally don’t know why any of these girls want to have overnights with him, but he is the Bachelor, for another few episodes anyway, so this is what we have to work with. So, with that being said (a shout-out to Nick’s oft-uttered phrase), let’s get into it.

First and foremost, Nick is treated to an awkward visit by Andi, who dumped him just before the final rose several seasons ago. He answers the door and she says, “I heard you were in town” and saunters in. He offers her a drink and she says she thinks the conversation “calls for whiskey.” She says she’s just there “checking in” which seems extremely convenient since she has a new book coming out soon. Nick gets even dorkier than normal while talking to Andi and says, “The last time you knocked on my door you broke up with me.” They discuss his relationships with the women and he tells her that he’s not going to get engaged just because he’s the bachelor. And then Andi inappropriately asks him if he’s planning on banging any of the ladies during the overnights. She then goes on and gives him her “permission” to be intimate. Um, thanks girl who dumped Nick a thousand years ago and has barely spoken to him since.

I’m sure he was waiting on you to give him the go-ahead. Anyway, Andi appears to be done giving him her sage advice (since her own engagement that stemmed from this show was so successful that she had to write a tell-all book about how terrible the relationship was) so she leaves and Nick heads to the rose ceremony. Continue reading “Let’s Get It On- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 9”

Britney, Baby One More Time- I watched “Britney Ever After” so you don’t have to (even though I think you should)

“I’m not a girl, not yet a woman. All I need is time, a moment that is mine, while I’m in between.” Britney Spears, I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman

Hello everyone. Today we are taking a bit of a turn from all things Bachelor Nation and reviewing a little Lifetime movie called Britney Ever After. I’m not going to lie- I’m a complete Lifetime movie junkie, and not because they are good. In fact, they are the complete opposite of good, and therein lies the appeal. I’ve long been a fan of these over-the-top, cheesy movies since junior high, before Lifetime, when they used to air in primetime on weeknights. Who wouldn’t love to feast their eyes on a movie about a murderous cheerleader or a co-ed who turns to hooking to pay her tuition or a girl with an eating disorder and a heart of gold in their formative years? (The answer to that question is a lot of people, but I  can get sucked in to a glossy movie with a message any day of the week.) Anyway, Britney Ever After doesn’t disappoint, so let’s delve into some of the finer moments, shall we?

The movie is shot in flashbacks while Britney gives an interview to talk about her big comeback after her much-publicized 2007 meltdown. When we open, Brit is new on the scene and just starting to tour with NSync as the opening act. She’s dressed like a literal baby, in overalls with a striped onesie and pigtails, and it is important to note that the actress who plays Britney (Natasha Bassett) looks absolutely nothing like her, other than the fact that she has blond hair and brown eyes. From the beginning, we see that Jamie Spears (Brit-Brit’s “daddy”) is a grouchy alcoholic with money problems who makes everyone’s life miserable. Brit’s mom Lynn seems over him from the word go, which should make the news that they eventually divorce come as a surprise to nobody. Along for the tour is Brit’s assistant, Fee (Felicia, maybe? No idea) to basically be her parent/guardian since neither of her actual guardians could be bothered to make the trip. Brit’s little sister JamieLynn (get it? Jamie- the dad, and Lynn- the mom. How clever) is along for the drop-off, as is Reg (Britney’s high school sweetheart apparently), who Britney’s manager Larry is very dismissive of, presumably to keep Brit’s appeal as a relatable virgin intact. It’s clear from the beginning that A)Britney isn’t too bright and B) she isn’t really allowed to make many decisions about anything. And then suddenly, like a denim-clad, curly-haired 90s beacon of shining light, Justin Timberlake appears. Justin and Britney have history (they appeared on The Mickey Mouse club together as children) and they definitely have a lot of sexual tension. They flirt and I have to say that the actor who played Justin(Nathan Keyes, whoever that is) nailed his voice and mannerisms. This just goes to show what a likable person the real JTimbo is, because even in a terrible movie like this, he comes off as charming. Continue reading “Britney, Baby One More Time- I watched “Britney Ever After” so you don’t have to (even though I think you should)”

Welcome to My House- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 8

“The trouble it might drag you down. If you get lost, you can always be found. Just know you’re not alone cause I’m going to make this place your home.” Phillip Phillips, Home.

Hello all, and welcome to this week’s Bachelor Nick recap. We’ve finally made it to hometowns, which is traditionally either a crazy episode (JoJo’s mom taking that bottle of veuve straight to the face or Kirk’s crazy taxidermist dad from Ali’s season come to mind) or a giant snooze, but somehow, this episode ended up coming in somewhere in the middle. I mean, there were definitely some boring moments, but we also got to see the gene pool that gave us Princess Corinne and we got to meet the famous Raquel,  so it wasn’t all bad. So without further ado, let’s dive right in.

We open back in Bimini, where Kristina has just been sent home and the girls are confused about whether or not there is going to be a rose ceremony since there are four of them left. They know that typically four girls go to hometowns, but since Nick is “unpredictable” (their words, not mine. I think he’s been nothing but predictable this season), they aren’t sure. Nick enters with a handful of roses and asks to sit down. He says he sent Kristina home before the rose ceremony because he knew his mind was made up and he had too much respect for her to put her through that. He says that it’s still very much a “two-way street” and wanted to have a private rose ceremony with the ladies at the hotel. He even offers a rose to Raven, who already has one, because he says it has to be a mutual decision. Spoiler alert- they all accept the roses and get ready to head to hometowns.

First we head to Hoxie, Arkansas for Raven’s hometown. She makes this big speech about how she’s ready to tell Nick that she’s “falling in love with him” and correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t she do that a few episodes ago, without much fanfare or reciprocation? Anyway, she goes on to explain some things that are fun in Hoxie and the only one I can even begin to decipher is “muddin'” whatever that is. This is hitting a little too close to home for me, having grown up in a tiny town myself, and I can think of nothing I would rather do less as an adult than ride four-wheelers or shoot guns or drive around in the mud. Anyway, she rides around on the requisite 4-wheeler and tells Nick about some tradition of climbing some “grain bins” (again, what?) when the police pull up. The cop asks Nick for ID, which he doesn’t have and then asks the same of Raven. It all feels a bit forced and suddenly, the cop deadpans, “She’s been giving me trouble my whole life” and we find out the cop is Raven’s older brother. He leaves and they continue 4 wheeling to their hearts’ content and Raven remarks that they are “about to get dirty.”  They splash around in the mud and eventually lie down and make out in it, and all I can think is that it’s really not going to do much for Raven’s already dire hair extension situation. Nick says that their relationship is “moving at the fastest pace” and they continue rolling around in the dirt and the mud, presumably until it’s time to go meet Raven’s parents. They talk a little about Raven’s dad and his cancer and how she’s only ever brought one other guy home. I’m happy to see that a shower and a brush seem to have solved her hair issues, cause she looks pretty. Once they go in, she finds out that “daddy” is in remission and cancer-free and it’s a nice moment. She talks to her mom about Nick and says that he’s the kind of man she would want to marry. Mama Raven wants her to “put her heart out there.” Meanwhile, Nick talks to Daddy Raven and I can’t help but notice how smug Nick always looks when he’s trying to look sincere. He then asks Raven’s dad for permission to propose to her should they get to the end, to which Dad says, “I didn’t expect to like you- but you’re a likable guy” which I’m guessing means yes. Raven wants to tell Nick she loves him, but in the end, she chickens out and says something along the lines of “So…um…I should tell you…that…there’s no hesitation on my end of what becomes of this.” I’m not even sure what that means and I doubt Nick knows either, but he leaves and she wishes she would have told him she loved him.

Continue reading “Welcome to My House- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 8”

It’s Not You, It’s Me- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 7

“Come on let it go, just let it be. Why don’t you be you, and I’ll be me. Everything that’s broke, leave it to the breeze. Why don’t you be you, and I’ll be me…” James Bay, Let it Go

Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s bachelor recap. Before we even get into the episode, let’s just take a minute to talk about some big news- ABC has officially announced that my personal favorite, one miss Rachel Lindsay, is going to be the new bachelorette. This is great news for several reasons- #1) Rachel is cool and smart and funny and will be an excellent lead for the next season #2) she is the first African American bachelorette and #3) we know she doesn’t end up with Nick, who she is way too good for anyway. I’m curious as to why they announced it before the season is even over (she’s currently still in the running to get Nick’s final rose) but I have a suspicion it was an attempt to deflect from the notion that the show isn’t diverse (it really hasn’t been so far) and also maybe to atone for the poor choice of giving Nick a fourth go-round on this latest train wreck of a season. Whatever the reason, I applaud their choice and am excited to watch a whole season of Rachel. So, with that, let’s get into the episode, shall we?

We open with Nick crying (what else is new?) and I wonder if there has ever been a bachelor who has shed so many tears. The only one that comes to mind who could potentially rival the waterworks of Nick is that weenie Jake Pavelka, and I don’t even think he came close. We are still in St. Thomas, and the ladies discuss their feelings about Nick dropping the bomb that he might not be able to continue. Nick sits alone at the beach and along comes CH. “I heard you had a rough day yesterday,” CH says to Nick, and Nick agrees that he’s been second-guessing all of his thoughts and decisions. CH asks Nick if he’s ready to throw in the towel and without answering, Nick goes to the hotel to talk to the women. He apologizes for the previous night and I can’t help but notice that Raven’s lash extensions look as busted as Corinne’s fake hair.  Nick continues talking and yada, yada, yada (spoiler alert) it turns out Nick CAN continue to be the Bachelor. That was a lot of build up for something so anti-climactic, as I’m sure sex with Nick would be. Anyway, he decides to cancel the rose ceremony and bring all of the remaining ladies to Bimini. (The producers then show us a map, so geography dumb-dumbs like me have some clue of where it is. Bahamas, maybe? I wasn’t really paying attention and I didn’t want to rewind.) Continue reading “It’s Not You, It’s Me- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 7”

Cleaning House- A Bachelor Recap For Nick’s Season, Episode 6

“It’s me that ought to be moving on. You’re not adorable. I was something unignorable. I ain’t freakin’, I ain’t faking this. Shut up and let me go, hey!” The Ting-Tings, Shut Up and Let Me Go.

Hello everyone. Welcome to week six, when Nick pulled out all the stops and sent a ton of girls home- some we expected (who was Whitney, again, and why did she keep making it through so many rose ceremonies without so much as opening her mouth?) while others were more surprising. But before we get into all that, we have to wade through the awkwardness of Taylor barging back in on Nick and Corinne’s date to say exactly the same thing she was said just before she was sent home. So since this glass of rosé isn’t going to drink itself, let’s get to it, shall we?

We open on the girls at the hotel trying to decipher who will be making it home from the two-on-one date. Once they see that Taylor will be the one leaving, they seem less than thrilled. I mean, I get it. She is the lesser of two evils, but she’s still very obnoxious. Back at the date, Taylor is pissed. She’s convinced she only got sent home because Corinne lied to Nick about her. Sorry, sweetheart, but you really got sent home because Nick wants to get into Corinne’s pants more than yours. She rolls up on Corinne and Nick like a serial killer and I notice that the swamp air is doing Corinne’s extensions no favors, neither hair nor eyelashes. Where is Raquel (or a good beauty expert) when you need her? Taylor sounds legitimately crazy as she says, “Corinne, you lied today! Nick, can I talk to you?” He looks like he would rather be doing literally anything else but rehashing this with Taylor, but for some reason he obliges and they go outside. Corinne continues chugging what seems to be a tall water glass filled with champagne and shrugs her shoulders like the brat she is. She wants us to know she’s not worried at all. And also, she’s very, very drunk. Taylor tells Nick that she cares about him but he’s making a mistake. Let it go, girl. How many times do you need to have this same conversation? Meanwhile, Corinne’s glass seems to be constantly and magically full, no matter how many sips she takes, and I wonder what poor PA’s job it is to make that happen. These are the unsung heroes, guys, and they do a hell of a lot more to keep us entertained than CH does. Think about it- if we didn’t get to see drunk Corinne, what would we be watching? I can tell you what- sleeping Corinne. Those are the only two Corinnes available to us on this show and I prefer hammered Corinne any day of the week. Anyway, Taylor drones on and on and Nick basically gives her a “thanks, but no thanks” kind of goodbye. He sends her on her merry way, toot sweet, so he can try to go make out with Corinne before she passes out. Taylor, in turn, uses her parting words in her limo exit to talk about- you guessed it- Corinne. In the words of Mariah, “why you so obsessed with me?” And Corinne, in a final moment of glory, wearing a skirt so short that it’s basically a belt, leaves us with this gem: “What I learned tonight is that cats have nine lives and bitches have two.” Wait, what? Drunk Corinne is truly just the gift that keeps on giving. Continue reading “Cleaning House- A Bachelor Recap For Nick’s Season, Episode 6”

Catfight- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 5

“You need to give it up, had about enough. It’s not hard to see the boy is mine. I’m sorry that you seem to be confused. He belongs to me. The boy is mine.” Brandy and Monica, The Boy is Mine

Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s Bachelor recap. I’m not going to lie to you- it is not yet February 1st, but I did watch this episode with a crisp glass (or three) of sauvignon blanc. My “sober January” served its intended purpose and I made it through most of the month, but I hosted a birthday party for 25 four-year-olds the day before, and that shizz isn’t for the faint of heart, so I rewarded myself with some wine. That said, I found this episode infinitely more enjoyable, and I’m not sure if it was the delicious vino, the inclusion of more Rachel than we’ve seen in previous episodes, or the “meeting of the minds” between Corinne and Taylor.  (We get it, Taylor. You have a master’s degree. But attempting to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person does you no favors in the “emotional intelligence” department either.) We have so much to cover from last night (though calling it “the most anticipated showdown of the year” in the current political climate might be overselling it, Chris Harrison. Calm down and wait until it’s your turn to remind us it’s the last rose tonight. Know your place!), so without further ado, let’s unpack this train wreck of an episode.

We open where we left off last week, with Taylor and Corinne arguing. Rachel has the right idea, as usual. (Can you tell she’s my favorite?) She thinks they should be more focused on their respective relationships with Nick than any of the other women in the house. But instead, they debate the semantics of “emotional intelligence” and so help me, if I never hear that phrase again, it will be too soon. I’m guessing Taylor heard it in one of her psych classes and just wanted to prove she’s a “mental health counselor.”  Corinne seems a little tipsy and calls Taylor a bitch. She tells her a lot of the other girls agree and then they cut to a shot of some of the other girls, and all I can think is how badly they need a lash extension tech to come in and give some fills cause some of these ladies’ lashes are looking rough. Taylor retorts that she doesn’t feel the need to be liked by anyone, and Corinne says Taylor has a “stank face,” whatever that means. (These girls are young- I can’t be expected to know all the lingo.) I’m just in awe that I’m watching two pretty girls- aged 23 and 24- fight over a guy who is pushing 40 whose only discernible job is perennial reality show contestant. It’s tough stuff. But I have to say, Corinne is looking fresh as a freakin’ daisy considering how hammered she seems. I wonder if she can do a beauty tutorial on what kind of primer/foundation she uses… But I digress. Continue reading “Catfight- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 5”

Who Says You Can’t Go Home- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 4

“Times have changed and times are strange.
Here I come, but I ain’t the same.
Mama, I’m coming home” Ozzy Osbourne, Mama I’m Coming Home

Hello all. Welcome to week 4, where it seems that the more things change, the more they stay the same in Bachelor Nick’s world, metaphorically and literally. This week, we were treated to an early hometown, with all fifteen of the remaining women heading to the suburb of Milwaukee (Waukesha, Wisconsin) where Nick grew up. But before we get into that, there is a bit of ground to cover while we wrap up last week’s pool party (with the infamous sexy bounce house) and the rose ceremony that follows. And there is also the amazing GoFundMe that someone set up for Corinne’s nanny that’s worth a google search if you haven’t yet seen it. (#freeraquel) So let’s get to it, shall we? (And let’s all “cheers” to the fact that this is the last one of these I will watch sober.)

We pick up right where we left off last week, in the throes of the pool party that “Nick” opted to have instead of a cocktail party. (I still laugh every week when they try to pass it off as Nick making any of the decisions when we all clearly know the producers mastermind all of it.) Everyone is pretty pissed that Corinne made a big show of straddling Nick in the bounce house and then flounced off to go to sleep- again. Jasmine wants to confront him about it but Vanessa has already beat her to it.  We are treated to more of her “do you want a wife or just someone to f*%$ around with” speech, with her telling Nick that if he’s looking for a sexual thing, she has no problem giving him back the rose he gave her on their one-on-one. Nick seems super uncomfortable and again, I agree with him on this one. They aren’t even down to single digits as far as the ladies go. It’s a bit early for her to be giving ultimatums. But Nick agrees that he needs to listen to what she’s saying because he cares what she thinks of his actions and behaviors. I’m calling it now- she will be in the top three at the very least, if not the winner. Continue reading “Who Says You Can’t Go Home- A Bachelor Recap for Nick’s Season, Episode 4”